Writing Tips


Beginning Writing Tips


Grab Your Reader’s Attention!

One of the simplest tricks to good writing is to make sure you’ve grabbed your reader’s attention right off the bat. The rule of thumb is that in your first paragraph, you should give your reader enough of the story, and maybe a peek at how the story will end, to keep him or her reading.

How do you do that? Have a look:
  • Not-so-good (boring!): We took a family trip last September to go visit my friends from college. The weather was really hot in Indiana. I saw John and Sam, who looked as old as I do.
  • Better (use a little humor and descriptive language): When we took our family trip last September to visit old college friends, little did I know that I’d be entering the Saharan desert (also known as Indiana) and that my two friends, John and Sam, would look like me – withered old apple dolls left out in the sun to dry.
  • Not-so-good (not enough info about the end!): Norma held a party last weekend for those of us who had turned 50 last year. Norma likes to hold parties, and so we had it at her house. Her husband Lucas was nice enough to let her have the party. All of the guests arrived by 7…
  • Better (give the reader a reason to keep reading): Norma, that great party-giver, was kind enough to hold a party for those of us who have turned 50 this year. Little did her husband Lucas know that by letting her host this shindig, he’d be putting the family dog’s life in danger! It all started out fine, guests arrived by 7…
  • Not-so-good (too much info about the end!): First, I was stationed at Camp Pendleton and then I shipped out to Iraq. This was in January. I didn’t want to go because my wife was pregnant. Because of getting shot I got sent home anyway, but that came later. Anyway, when we left for Iraq…
  • Better (give them just a little to keep reading): In January of 2004, I shipped out of Iraq from Camp Pendleton where I was stationed. Jenny was pregnant, and I really didn’t want to miss the birth of our first child, but someone must have been looking out for me, I guess. When we left for Iraq…
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Beginning, Middle, and End

In grammar school, we all learned that stories should have a beginning, middle, and end. Well, nothing has changed. All good stories, with a few exceptions, have these components:

Beginning. In your opening paragraph, or certainly within the first two or three, make sure you give your reader enough information to keep reading. One easy way to do this is to ‘tell them what you’re going to tell them’:
  • Last Wednesday, John and I went to the racetrack. What a day we had! John said that I looked silly in my lucky hat, but boy did he eat those words!
  • My trip to Africa changed my life. Within the first few moments of arriving in Zimbabwe, I could tell something great was going to happen.
  • Salmon fishing in Alaska! I’ve dreamed about this all year long, after Dad and I went last July, and it turned out to be even better than before.
Middle. In your central paragraphs, you elaborate on the story – ‘tell them what you’re going to tell them’. Normally this is done in chronological sequence, but be careful not to over use words like ‘Then’, ‘Next’, ‘Also’.
  • Like I always do, I put down $50 on my favorite horse in the first race, and $25 on my favorite horse in the second race. You know me, if I win one of the races, I then place the same bet on the third race, and so on. Well, in the first race…
  • After I got off the plane, I went to baggage claim, which is quite a bit different than in the US! I waited and waited, and knew that when all of the other people on the flight had claimed their bags but me, something was wrong. But, for some reason, I didn’t even care. I found my driver…
  • Before the trip, I decided to test my old laminated wood pole that I used to like so well, up at the pond near Stevens Road. It worked so well, and brought back so many memories, that I decided to take it. I packed it with my graphite poles, and took them all on our first day out in the seaplane out of Ketchikan…
End. Here’s where you tie it all together, beginning and middle, with your grand finale – ‘tell them what you told them’:
  • So, John may have thought my hat looked silly, but boy, it sure seemed to have brought me luck in the 5th. You can bet I won’t ever go to the tracks without it! Maybe with all my winnings, I’ll even buy him one, too. What do you think, John?
  • Going back to the airport, I felt a little sad that the trip was over. But all I had to do was to look at the snapshot of that lovely little girl to know that there would always be a reason to go back.
  • The pole may have been broken out on that river, but my dreams weren’t. Dad and I are already planning a trip for next year. And next year, I’ll only bring my graphites!
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Show, Don’t Tell

Good writers know that describing something is more effective than merely telling somebody about something. It’s a fine distinction, but one that is easy once you pick it up. Think about how you actually see something, not what it is:
  • Tell: The red Masarati was spotless.
  • Show: I could not see one spot of dust on the sleek machine in front of me.
  • Tell: It looked like that fish hook really hurt.
  • Show: I could tell just by looking at George that he’d do anything to get that fish hook out of his face!
  • Tell: The dog got loose, and knocked over the garbage can.
  • Show: Pepper somehow escaped his leash, and went bounding through the house like a demon, until he finally crashed into the garbage can, spewing leftover spaghetti all over the kitchen floor.
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In Closing…

Have you ever read a story that just ends, and you feel like you’ve missed something? Good stories either lead you back to the beginning of the tale, or purposefully leave you wondering what happened next. Either is fine, but make sure you don’t leave your reader feeling lost!
  • Good: After everything was said and done, it was clear that the party was a huge success even if the dinner was burned.
  • Not-so-good: Everyone went home at 9.
  • Good: Now I know why Grandpa said that no spaghetti dinner goes unpunished!
  • Not-so-good: Too bad the dinner was ruined.
  • Good: The dinner? Well, that’s another story…
  • Not-so-good: The dinner was awful.
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Descriptive Words

Giving your story life by using what the French call ‘le bon mot’ (the right word) is something that takes practice. You want to use words that evoke emotions or senses in your reader, but you don’t want to use too many descriptive words, or words that are out of place in your story. Like salt in cooking, a little can go a long way!
  • Just right: Sandra’s jeweled wedding dress glinted and sparkled in the late afternoon sunshine.
  • Too much: Sandra’s ornately-bejeweled wedding dress glinted merrily in the scintillatingly-bright, late afternoon sunshine.
  • Just right: I could tell by the slouch of his shoulders and the tears on his muddy face that they had lost the game.
  • Too much: I could immediately tell by the Altas-like slouch to his walk, and the coursing tears down his dirtied face, that the game had been lost.
  • Just right: Like bees to a flower, we hungrily flocked to Jason’s famous tiramisu.
  • Too much: Like so many bees to a gloriously enticing flower, we hungrily, nay, ecstatically flocked to Jason’s tiramisu, known through all the county.
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Intermediate Writing Tips


Purple Prose

Purple Prose is a term used to describe language that is overly-descriptive or dramatic – to the point of being distracting to the story at hand. While you want to keep your reader’s interest, don’t do it by making them laugh at your heavy-handed writing!
  • Too much description: The sun was so hot that heat waves like little water ripples on a quiet pond wafted up from the blistering, gooey tarmac.
  • Just right: The sun was so hot that heat waves rippled up from the melting pavement.
  • Too much alliteration (words all starting with the same letter): The lace hung loosely on Lucy’s languid shoulder.
  • Just right: The lace hung loosely on her shoulder.
  • Too much drama: My heart was ripped into a million shreds I was so upset by their loss.
  • Just right: My heart was broken over their loss.
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Transitions

Transitions in a story are used to move the reader from one action or place or time to another. Without transitions, your story sounds disjointed and uneven. Learn how to move the story along without jarring your reader.
  • Huh? Where am I? The picnic was a huge success. Carmen was okay, but I never liked opera much.
  • Good: Although the picnic was a huge success, I’m still not keen on opera, though Carmen was okay.
  • Huh? What happened? Samuel finally gave the candy to Sarah. The coals for the BBQ were hot, so I could cook the chicken.
  • Good: Samuel finally gave the candy to Sarah, which was good timing because I was just getting around to cooking the chicken.
  • Huh? Who are we talking about? Claire and Charley went home then. They began to sing songs right about this time.
  • Good: Claire and Charley went home right when the rest of the group began singing songs.
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Active Voice

Active voice is a style of writing where the subject of a sentence is performing the action (verb) – “The boy threw the ball.” Passive voice is where there is no clear subject or where it’s unclear if the subject is performing the action – “The ball was thrown”. Active voice is clear and direct, and leaves no room for doubt – use it whenever you can.
  • Passive voice: The food had been cooked, so dinner started.
  • Active voice: Mom had finished cooking the meal, so the family sat down to eat.
  • Passive voice: The game was lost at the last minute, and sadness prevailed.
  • Active voice: The game was lost by the sacked quarterback, and the entire team was sad for the loss.
  • Passive voice: The ball was thrown and the game was started.
  • Active voice: The president of the Chamber of Commerce threw out the first ball, and the players began the game.
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Punctuation

Punctuation counts! But, like so many other important aspects of writing, you can overuse and misuse punctuation. Do use punctuation other than periods and commas, but learn how to properly use them first.
  • Serial commas: Serial commas are when you three or more items in a list in a sentence. There are two equally acceptable ways to use commas – one comma or two: “Cereal, toast, and juice” OR “cereal, toast and juice”. Just make sure to use only one method in a story.
  • Exclamation marks: Just like the parable about the boy who cried wolf, if you use exclamation marks too frequently, they lose their impact. Go back and edit your work, and if you tend to use them too frequently, trying taking half of your exclamation marks out.
  • Question marks: Some beginning writers overuse rhetorical questions (“What was he thinking?”) and some writers don’t use questions at all in writing. Again, questions add variety to your story, but too much can ruin it.
  • Colons: When you think colons, think lists or an explanation or example. “He couldn’t pick what to wear: t-shirt, Oxford shirt, Polo shirt, what?
  • Semi-colons: Semi-colons are a bit tricky – they are used to join two related sentences together into one, usually with a ‘joining word’; however, if they are not used properly, they are jarring.
  • Em dashes: Many writers now use em dashes (two dashes together or a longer single dash). They are often used to replace commas or semi-colons – just like I’m using them here – to set off a separate phrase in the middle or at the end of a sentence.
  • Ellipses: The famous ‘dot, dot, dot’ at the end of a sentence is used to indicate that there is something purposefully left unsaid at the end of a sentence. Maybe you’ll understand an example…
  • Single quotes: Single quotes are often used to paraphrase someone, to indicate something that is not quite accurate, or to denote a common expression. Examples might be, “John had one of his ‘outbursts’ last night” or “I never understood what ‘oldies’ meant until I went to the party.”
  • Quotation marks (double quotes): Use quotations when you are directly quoting someone’s words. Simple!
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Editing and Revising

All good writers know that writing without editing equals a poorly-written story. Some writers believe that you should edit a story by half before publishing it. Others believe that no story should be published until read by someone else. Here are some easy ways to learn how to edit and revise your own work.
  • Spell check it: When possible, copy your work to a writing application and run spell check on it. We all make mistakes!
  • Wait a week: The brain has a very funny way of reading what it thought it wrote. This means that if you just wrote a sentence, you’ve missed a word, and then immediately re-read it, your brain will often ‘put in’ that word. If you wait a bit and then re-read your work, you’ll frequently see the errors.
  • Read it backwards: If you have to publish a story without waiting, try reading the story backwards, sentence by sentence. This can trick your brain enough so that you’ll catch your own mistakes.
  • Read it out loud: Reading your story out loud is one of the very best ways to ‘hear’ how your story sounds when others read it. You’ll catch awkward sentences, wrong word choices, and bad transitions.
  • Save it and cut out half: All good writers are ruthless with their own writing. Read your story. Save it in another file. Go in and cut half of the story out and see if it makes it better. Or, if your story is say, 500 words long, try cutting out 100 words and see if it tightens up the story for a better read.
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Stop Repeating Yourself!

Beginning writers (and even professional writers) have a hard time not repeating themselves – a writer may say the same thing multiple times, as if saying it over and over will make it stronger and clearer. Often, it’s simply a matter of not having written it properly the first time. If you find yourself saying the same thing over and over, go back and mark all of the items that are the same, and see if you can distill it into one thought or idea. If you can’t, you might be trying to say too much. Try breaking the ideas down into separate thoughts, and see if that helps to keep from repeating yourself. Say it once, say it well! (Now count how many times I said the same thing in this paragraph!) back to top




Advanced Writing Tips


Dialog

Writing dialog is fun – once you know how. Just follow these five basic rules.
  • Rule one: Spoken words, whether yours or someone else’s, go inside quotation marks. “John,” he said, “why are you always losing your hat?”
  • Rule two: Punctuation that goes with the spoken words also goes inside the quotation marks, and punctuation (particularly ending punctuation) goes outside of the quotation marks
  • Why didn’t John ask, “Why are you always losing your hat?”?
  • Rule three: Dialog spoken by one person must always be in a separate paragraph. John said, “I’ll never get the hang of this!” and proceeded to shuffle his feet. I replied, “You’re crazy!”, and handed him the shovel.
  • Rule four: Don’t use the word ‘said’ over and over again. Find other words, such as replied, announced, mumbled, screeched, etc., to break up the monotony.
  • Rule five: Use commas to offset dialog within a paragraph or sentence. Review the examples in the first three rules.
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First, Second, and Third Person

All stories can be told from the first, second, or third person (also called omniscient writing). Choose the form that makes the most sense for the story you are telling, but be very careful not to mix forms within a story.
  • First person: I climbed the hill and sat down. The sun was setting, and it was amazing to me just how beautiful the ocean was that night.
  • Second person: John climbed the hill and sat down. The sun was setting, and he said, “I’m amazed at how beautiful the ocean is tonight.”
  • Third person: John climbed the hill and sat down. The sun was setting, and he was amazed at how beautiful the ocean was that night.
    • Note: Third person is often called ‘omniscient’ writing because unless someone states how they feel (such as in the second example), there is no way to know what the person is feeling unless you are ‘omniscient’ (able to read a person’s mind). A bit tricky!
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Rhythm and Meter

Most of us think of rhythm and meter when we think about poetry, but narrative stories also have rhythm and meter as well – or should! This is where reading your story out loud can really help you to find a good stride or cadence to your writing.
  • Good: John stopped, turned, and found his hat. (The rhythm sounds like stopping.)
  • Needs work: John stopped and turned around and found his hat. (He sounds like he is still going in circles!)
  • Good: She skated across the ice with infinite grace. (Can you hear the skates gliding?)
  • Needs work: She went across the ice with grace. (Chop, chop, chop!)
  • Good: I love the way the house smells when Mom is cooking soup. It makes my mouth water just to think about it. (Is your mouth watering yet?)
  • Needs work: My mouth waters thinking about Mom’s soup and how it makes the house smell. (Something lost here, isn’t there?)
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Advanced Editing

Although it sounds simplistic, advanced editing is pretty much the same as intermediate editing, but doing it effectively. You learn to do it effectively by doing it over and over again. Two other tricks that work for writers:
  • Find your favorite filler words and phrases and kill them. All of us have words that we use too frequently: that, this, any, the, a, thing are a few of the common culprits. Check to see how many times you’ve used these or other words, and then rewrite to use a better, more descriptive choice.
  • Print out your work, and learn how to use proofreaders’ marks. This may seem like too much, but when you print your work out and actually edit it on paper, you become a bit more detached and a bit more professional. Try it!
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